Fainting, Falling, and Other Things You Hope to Never do at Work

Welcome to my new blog Life, Love, and Lipstick. I've downsized from having a blog site and author website. From now on, this will be where you can find my blog. It is also linked to the author site sharonbrownkeith.com

Now that we've taken care of new business, I can update you on a few things, and I hope you will be laughing with me, rather than at me. But either one is okay, because everyone needs to laugh a couple of times of day, and it's my job to try to make that happen.

You're welcome.

Let me begin by saying I don't want or need sympathy, but the last three weeks or so have been one for the books (or in this case, the blog).

I know you're busy, and don't have time for me to drone on and on about all the intricacies of my life, so I'm going to attempt to make this as succinct as possible.

I have been in education for thirty-eight years, teaching high schoolers for sixteen of those years. During those days, from time to time I wondered if something happened to me at work, if I fell, fainted, became ill, or in my pregnancy days went into labor, how would my students react? Would they jump into action to save their beloved teacher, or would they stand gawking over me, as I'm sprawled out on the floor?

Fortunately, none of those things ever happened, at least until last week. As my regular readers know, when I'm involved, anything can happen--as far as having a never-ending supply of stories, mishaps, and blundering tales, my cup is always overflowing. So sit back, relax and get ready to hear about all the things you hope to never do at work...

Several weekends ago, we kept our two grandchildren (ages four and a two years old). This is something we look forward to, and we feel that when the kids get to stay with us they've won the lottery because we're just so fun!. Actually, we're the big winners, because every second we are with them is precious. Exhausting, but precious. 

As all grandparents know, there's so much that happens other than the fun and never-ending adventures. Meals are prepared. The house is constantly in need of being picked up and cleaned. The day is an on-going marathon, where we transition from one task, job, event, or playtime to diapers, bubble baths, ice cream, playing in Sassy and Coach's park, and finally, trying to get everyone calmed down and ready for a good night's slumber.

Watching grandkids isn't for the faint of heart, and I literally found this out early Monday morning when I arrived at school.

From the time my alarm bolted me out of bed, I just didn't feel right. I couldn't pinpoint the exact malaise which was invading my body. I just knew something unpleasant was heading my way.

I didn't have fever and thought my nausea might be from something I unknowingly ate that contained gluten. The over-riding feeling I had was utter and complete exhaustion, but I powered through the motions, and arrived at work.

I walked across the parking lot to cafeteria duty and it seemed warmer than usual in the Raider Cafe. The breakfast crowd consists of all Junior High and Elementary students (K-5). The place is filled with hundreds of loud and boisterous bodies, and on that day, it seemed extra humid inside. 

After fanning myself and drinking some water, a panicked feeling washed over me, and I knew I needed to quickly find a bathroom or some fresh air. I opted for fresh air because I didn't feel like I was going to be sick. I just felt like I needed to move outside, to a quieter place.

I began walking toward the elementary building, but stopped. I knew I was about to faint. I was standing in the asphalt parking lot, and was next to a parked car. I tried to hang on to the driver's side review mirror, and whispered as loudly as I could to the administrators on car rider duty, "I'm about to faint."

When I came to, the Intermediate Campus Principal and Assistant Principal were hovering over me. I had no idea how I landed on the ground, but I saw my glasses, water bottle, phone and umbrella were scattered under the car I hoped would steady me. 

The two administrators began asking me questions. They also told me not to move. They asked my name, if I knew where I was, and of course I answered the question before it was asked as to who was President of the United States. 

I tried to get up, but they stopped me. As they held on to my arms and began the process of picking me up off the ground, I apparently told them, "Good luck getting my fat #!% off the ground." 

I guess being splayed on the ground in an awkward, unflattering position is already unladylike, so why not add the snarky and tacky comment? I blame it all on lack of oxygen. Seriously, I can't believe I said that out loud!

When I was finally standing up, I announced that I felt so much better...

Until I didn't.

When I came to this time, I once again didn't remember the fall, but I will never unsee the scared, shocked, confused, and worried looks of the students as they were filing by in their lines, heading back to their respective classrooms. 

At this point, I saw someone bringing a wheel chair, and I was hoisted into it. My principal was there to wheel me into the Kindergarten building, and she proceeded to call my husband, as well as an ambulance. While she was on the phone, I slipped off again, and when I came to she was saying, "Stay with me," and I replied, "I didn't know I went anywhere."

At this juncture of the medical drama, both nurses were now in the lounge, the principal, one of the counselors, the assistant superintendent, and several coaches who were all trying to get in touch with Brian, who was walking our dog and didn't have his phone with him.

After passing out three times, I felt like a new person. Except for the rumbling in my stomach.  I'm sure it was because of fear and embarrassment, but I felt I had to entertain everyone who came through the door and demonstrate that I was okay.

The ambulance arrived, and the EMTs brought in all of their medical equipment. They quizzed me about what happened. I told the parts I could remember, and the rest was filled in by the witnesses who were now assembled around me, as the EMTs began attaching all kinds of wires to my skin. 

Thankfully, the principal ran over and lowered the blinds, as more students were filing by, gaping through the windows, horrified. Hopefully, none were privy to the part when they pulled up my shirt to connect me to the EKG machine.

After ten minutes, with two good EKG results and blood pressure readings, the EMTs asked if I wanted to be taken to the hospital. I gave them a hard "No," and just asked if I could go home. They thought it would be okay, and commented that the virus going around was really bad. 

So, when Brian arrived, he helped me in his truck and we headed home.

We made it just in time. The aforementioned virus kicked in, and I can honestly say I've never been that sick in my life. When I passed out at school, I felt like I was dehydrated. I always drink at least 80 ounces of water a day, but when the grandchildren were there, I didn't. (I had no idea of the unpleasantries the rest of the day had in store for me).

I put my pajamas on, and stayed in bed until Thursday (except when I went to pick up my car from school).

I drank water and Gatorade, and ate gluten-free crackers. I know you're jealous.

The following Monday, I returned to work, with the only visible sign of my medical incident being the obvious limping while trying to walk. 

It seems one of the times I fainted, I must have strained a ligament in my foot. It was bruised and swollen, and finding shoes to wear was extremely difficult.

The students all welcomed me back, exclaiming, "We were so worried about you. It scared us when you fell."

I was horrified, and quickly said in a defensive tone, "I didn't fall. I fainted. Three times. I was very, very sick."

I'm not sure why I have chosen this hill to die on, but I want everyone to know I fainted. 

"Hear ye! Hear ye! No matter what you heard, I didn't fall. I'm not clumsy"--well, maybe sometimes, but I wasn't on this day. 

After spending my first day back at school clarifying, explaining, and defending myself, I thought all was well.

The very next day during lunch, one of the students who asked about my fall the day before and heard the real story, that I fainted, called me over to her table. 

She asked, "Mrs. Keith. Did you faint or fall?"

I answered, "I fainted. Why?"

She pointed at the boy sitting next to her and said, "He keeps saying you fell."

I vehemently stated that I didn't fall, I fainted.

His response, "No, you fell."  I give up...

At least they didn't make a chart where the students vote by answering "Did she faint?" or "Did she fall?"

I am happy to report that I went to my doctor, who did another EKG, and everything checked out well.

I am so very fortunate. It could have been much worse. When I fell because I fainted, I could have really hurt myself. I'm lucky I didn't crack my head wide open the two times I fell fainted on the asphalt.

It's almost surreal. On that day, and in those moments, I wasn't scared. But whenever I reflect  on what happened, I am shaken.

Not from fear, but because I clearly see how God protected me in so many ways. 

Whether I fainted or fell is unimportant because He picked me up. He kept me from harm, gave me strength, and healed me.

I have been overwhelmingly humbled by the response from so many people throughout the district, my co-workers at the elementary, and the students. I am lucky, indeed, to work in such a wonderful place. 

If you ever want to feel loved and adored, I suggest you give someone ice cream, a surprise gift, or a million dollars.

I don't suggest fainting at work.

But if you have to faint at work, I hope you do so at a place of employment that is as awesome as mine is. 

Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who helped me through this ordeal. You went above and beyond. 

I'm guessing that caring for me during this medical episode was one of those "other duties as assigned"  listed on your contract. 

I'm forever grateful that my fall from grace (not from being clumsy, but from fainting), wasn't worse. I would say it's luck, but I know different. 

"I lift up my eyes to the mountains--where does my help come from? 

My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth." (Psalm 121:1-2)

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9)

Live your life to the fullest, love everyone, and always remember to put on your lipstick,

~Sharon